Encino Matchmakers | 5 Commandments of Conflict Resolution

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All couples, even the happiest of couples, fight. There’s no way around it. And when done the right way, fighting can even improve your communication and strengthen your relationship. That’s something successful couples have mastered. Successful couples care enough about preserving the relationship to determine the best approach in arguments. From refraining from swearing and name-calling to remembering each partner cares about the other, sharpening your conflict resolution skills is key to a happy and healthy relationship.

If you’re ready to improve your communication and determine the best ways to prevent ugly arguments, read on as our Encino matchmakers here at Los Angeles Singles Dating Service reveal the top commandments of fair fighting in a relationship.

Man pleading with his wife after a fight

1. Refrain from swearing.

Raising your voice or swearing shows an exaggerated understanding of the issue at hand. When you start using foul language, your partner is only going to focus on your exaggerated words and you’ll lose any validity in your argument.

It’s easy for tempers to flair during an argument, but it’s important you learn to keep your cool to ensure things don’t escalate and that you don’t lose your partner’s respect.

2. Never resort to name-calling.

Just like swearing, name-calling is one of the quickest ways to escalate the situation at hand. Verbal abuse is never invited to this get together. Belittling is not only disrespectful and uncalled for, but it also prevents you from solving the problem. The only thing name-calling is going to introduce to your fight is more emotion, more turmoil. If you resort to name-calling during a fight, you’re going to cause another fight and create resentment.

3. Don’t focus on who is right.

Instead of focusing on who is right, focus on doing what’s right and figuring out how to reconcile this disagreement in a timely, respectful, and productive manner. But how do you do that when pride and ego are soaring? Remove yourself from the situation and take a step back. Take a look at the situation from an outside perspective by acting as a referee to someone else’s fight. Evaluate the right and wrong in the situation based on actions alone, not who did what. This will make it easier for each of you to really assess the issue instead of who’s to blame.

4. Don’t take it as a threat to your relationship.

You can’t look at every disagreement with your partner as a threat to your relationship. And just as importantly, you can’t threaten your partner to leave every time you have a fight. This is the type of blackmail that sends couples into emotional turmoil and creates that “fight or flight” mode. It’s not fair and it’s not right to do. You can’t make threats every time a fight comes up.

5. Don’t bring out your arsenal.

Stockpiling and bringing up past issues is never the solution to productive fighting. Keep the discussion on the current issue to ensure it doesn’t get swept under the rug and brought out down the road.

The key to successful conflict resolution is solving the issue at hand in a calm manner, and you can’t do that if you’re resentful and bringing up past issues. That only takes away from the current problem. If you hold resentment for an unresolved issue from the past, you need to wait until you solve the most recent problem and revisit your issues at a later time.

Anger and disagreements don’t diminish love. It’s perfectly healthy to be angry with those you love. After all, it’s those we love who have the greatest potential of hurting us because we love and care for them so deeply. If we didn’t, we wouldn’t argue and try to resolve conflicts in the relationship. If we didn’t care, we would walk away and call it quits.

If you want to resolve your conflicts in a constructive way and diminish the negative energy in those conflicts, follow these five commandments from our Encino matchmakers. In fact, if you can incorporate these tips, you’ll find that your disagreements get much less heated and are resolved in a much quicker way.

If you’re single and searching for love in Los Angeles, contact our Encino matchmakers today. Let us introduce you to quality singles in LA who are fit to date and compatible with you.

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